You've been invited to play the role of JACK BLACKSPARROW in Murder in Hollywoodland. You're invited to a star-studded yacht party, as Lucas Cameronburg is shooting the biggest blockbuster ever made! But before he can say "That's a wrap!", he's hit over the head with his Goldguy award and pushed overboard! Join us to find out who cut Cameronburg from his own film!

Your costume suggestion

Sometimes you forget you’ve already dressed so the layered effect is very much your style. Pirate hat and bandana? Check. Two - no, three belts? Check. Accessorize with more beads, dreads, sashes, and eye make-up than a sane person would deem necessary and finish with an electric guitar (no, really).

About you...

Your dreams of being a famous rock star were shattered when, at the age of 18, you realised you’d have to occasionally play melodic music. That, coupled with all that running around onstage, blew the deal for you, so you decided to add something else to your act to get recognised. Joining the Navy was too risky, so instead you learned your sea ropes at Washywood seaside resort, playing famous pirate villains. It was only a matter of time before you confused port and starboard, which resulted in a fall that rocked your world (or brain in particular). Since then, you’ve been hailed as Hollywood’s foremost character actor but the truth is, since the accident, your brain happily empties you out of it and lets your latest role jump in.

I be Captain Jack Blacksparrow, fearsome sea pirate and fiercer sea-side rock star. Cameronburg wanted a wily pirate who could break out into massive party anthem dance numbers, but got me instead. I like to make this sign with me fingers... a lot. Let’s get this party rockin’ ‘fore me parrot starts a droppin’. To be true, I was on deck when he died, chasing rats away by playing me guitar. Like the worst kind of pied piper. Thought I ‘eard a couple of guests jump too.