You've been invited to play the role of DOCTOR FUMBLES in Murder at the Manor. Lord Heathcliff is throwing a swanky dinner party in honour of his new bride. All the usual suspects are there - the vicar, the cook, the professor - plus a few unusual ones. But dinner will never be served because Lord Heathcliff is hit over the head with a candlestick just as he's taking his customary afternoon swim. You're invited to find out who snuffed out his candle!

Your costume suggestion

Your white coat, stethoscope and pocketful of tongue depressors are all you need to play doctor - oh, as well as an alarming collection of pointy instruments.

About you...

All your life you’ve wanted to be a vet, but you quickly u-turned into general medicine after realising you had far more empathy for animals than humans when you put them under the scalpel. Then you became bored learning about the ‘simple’ human body and started to lose interest, failing exams and falling behind in class. Repeatedly being told by faculty staff that you were underachieving did nothing to rectify the situation, and when it came to the final tests you couldn’t even scrape by with a third degree. Taking pity on you, the university allowed you to re-sit, and eventually you hauled yourself up to a passing grade.

I’m Doctor Fumbles, and when I proclaim someone dead they’d better not bloomin’ well get up again. I’m sure Lord Heathcliff was a good man but he was also an enormous strain on NHS resources. I arrived earlier today after his ninth phone call to my surgery complaining about a headache. I was on my way to prescribe him two paracetamol and a piece of my mind when he was suddenly declared dead by the butler. A butler, I tell you, with no formal training! For all we know he’s alive and well and onto his fifth lap in the pool by now!