You've been invited to play the role of OPHELIA O'FOOLE in A Very Shakespearean Murder. What scream through yonder window breaks? Queen Derivative the Second is having a right royal ado, but before the guests can forketh down the first oxen, the Queen’s jester Yorick is found dead-ed! Join us to find out who-duneth-it!

Your costume suggestion

You were once beautiful but now you’re a hard-working wife and mother. You have dressed for the occasion in a sumptuous purple gown, but your hair is untidy and you have a burping cloth (and a baby) over one shoulder.

About you...

As a young maiden, you were hailed for your remarkable beauty - and despite being the daughter of a poor tanner, you attracted much attention from fine young men eager to marry you. But it was Yorick, a mere jester, who caught your eye - you’ve always wanted a man with a good sense of humour. And so the two of you married and had 15 children, who you raise while he dances about in court shaking his staff, and now you can’t shake the feeling that you might have made the wrong choice…

I’m Ophelia O’Foole, the corpse’s wife. Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him very very well - twice nightly and thrice on Sundays. Of course, that ’twas in the days of our youth when my bosom did swell at the thought of his big staff - he uses one as part of his jestering, it has bells on. Now, he is nothing but a stiff. Oh, how shall I miss him? Let me count the ways… On second thoughts, has anyone seen that staff of his?